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21 things you won’t miss about living with your parents

Posted by in offbeat

Note: Some of these things really happened.


1. Putting your key in the lock in that super-careful way that makes no sound whatsoever… and failing.

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2. Casually telling your parents that you’re just going upstairs with your boyfriend/girlfriend ‘to chat’.

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3. The words ‘Good afternoon’, said to you at 10am on a Saturday.

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4. The ‘looking at watch’ gesture that accompanies the words ‘Good afternoon’ at 10am on a Saturday.

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5. The inevitability that they will somehow be able to demonstrate beyond reasonable doubt that the tiny scratch on the car was your doing.

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6. Having to give your parents lifts back from anywhere they happen to be drunk to repay all the lifts they gave you before you were even legally old enough to drive.

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7. Being the only person in the house who knows how to make your mum’s laptop connect to the wifi.

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8. Feeling like a living cliché when you realise that actually you really should tidy your room.

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9. Hearing yourself sound like you’re in the Inbetweeners even when you actually don’t care about the thing that’s offending you.

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10. Dinners lovingly cooked then wrapped in foil to be eaten later with a side-portion of guilt.

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11. Being told you work too hard.

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12. Being told you don’t work hard enough.

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13. Being told you need a holiday then not being invited on the ‘family’ holiday.

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14. Sentences that start ‘It’s your life, but...'.

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15. Being the officially appointed spokesperson for all youthkind on subjects including (but not confined to) Lady Gaga’s clothes, the meaning of political selfies and where the music actually is in Spotify.

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16. Answering the question ‘So, where do you live?'.

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17. Not being able to say ‘Well, I definitely posted it on time!’ when your father’s/mother’s day card mysteriously fails to turn up.

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18. Having to turn the modem off before you go to sleep - it’s a waste of electricity to be on overnight after all.

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19. Being blamed for running up a phone bill because you left your computer connected to an Australian website overnight.

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20. Just too much curiosity.

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21. The knowledge that despite all of the above you’ll end up feeling like you miss at least something when you move out.

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