It's not pretty watching a jackass trying to eat a pomegranate.
Go hide under something old.
You're as ugly as a salad.
No we haven't completely lost it (just yet, anyway), the above are genuine and totally legit insults from across the globe.
That's according to travel blog Just the Flight who searched the internet high and low for the most nutty ways to tell someone they're a bit rubbish.
For example in Somalia "futaada u sheeg" roughly translates as "tell that to your ass" and is commonly used as a retort when someone says something disagreeable. That's "ass" as in donkey not "ass" as in a rear end.
Other highlights include the Russian "you can sharpen an axe on the top of his head" and the Mandarin "250".