Planning a wedding is riddled with stress – who do you invite? Where will the venue be? What sort of food should you serve? And to what extent will the whole affair bankrupt you and your new spouse?
Often, to alleviate the pressure, couples hire wedding planners to make their day perfect – so they don’t have to. Which means those wedding planners see a lot of weddings.
Speaking to ATTN, wedding planners Christy Matthews and Cassandra Santor revealed the early indicators they've noticed that a relationship may not survive the long road.
Here they are:
1. Taking sides (with anyone other than each other)
Couples need to establish that they are a team, early on. Often parents or family members may have strong opinions on the wedding, and it doesn’t bode well when you or your spouse put the needs of others before the two of you. Santor says:
If it's 'well my mum said this' and 'your mum said that,' and the family of origin's opinion [is taken more seriously] than the future spouse, that can be really challenging.
The younger the couple, the more Matthews is worried that it won’t last. She says:
I have worked with couples from like 21 years — or even 20 years old in one case — to couples in their fifties. And I do worry, or the thought occurs to me more, when a couple is really super young and just sort of inexperienced in worldly ways.
According to The National Centre for Health, 60 per cent of marriages for couples between the ages of 20 and 25 end in divorce.
3. Prioritising the wedding over the marriage
If the wedding is taking over the couple's lives to the point that it puts stress on the relationship, it could be a sign of skewed priorities.
[When] it becomes an all-encompassing monster, that's when I worry.