One of the most unexpected (but welcome) side effects of the coronavirus pandemic has been the realisation that celebrities live on a different planet and, to be honest, are really, really annoying.
As celebrities lock themselves inside their mansions which have their own cinema, candy store, spa, and golf course in them, many have found it appropriate to lecture the outside world about the importance of social distancing.
A group of very misguided celebrities misread the public mood to the extent that they actually thought anyone wanted to see them singing 'Imagine', which backfired spectacularly. Arnold Schwarzenegger sat in his hot tub and told us all to stay home (including the 40 per cent of Americans who can’t cover a $400 expense, who might have little choice but to go to work). Ellen DeGeneres was seen getting teary too at the boredom (presumably realising she’d have to hang out with George W Bush on Zoom instead *sad violin*). Then there was Vanessa Hudgens… yeesh.
It's maybe a bit harsh to tar all celebrities with the same ridiculously self-involved brush. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds donated $1m to the relief effort, for instance.
But there is one celebrity who has emerged as the queen of Covid-19 responses.
Miss American Dream herself, the inventor of modern-day pop music: it’s Britney, b*tch.
It’s been a rough few months for Britney Spears. There have been reports that she’s been visiting mental health facilities and her long-awaited Domination tour was reportedly cancelled as a result. The “Free Britney” movement (which is so problematic we can’t even deal with it, YUCK) has also been in full swing, giving her unneeded stress.
But Spears went on Instagram and, instead of preaching to us about how we *should* be behaving or lecturing us on how great solitude is from a golden throne, simply said: “if you need anything, DM me!”.
Oops she surprised us again. She said:
Whether it’s food, or getting your child diapers, DM me and I will help you out.
Look, here’s the post:
Naturally, lots of fans who’ve been going through a hard time would love a piece of Britney. But people are mostly just glad that she’s bucked the trend of behaving insensitively at such a stressful time. Instead of singing songs or preaching, she's using her resources to do good. Other celebrities found ignored! They’re toxic we’re slippin’ under!
People even went as far as to say that she’s one of the only celebrities who hasn’t been behaving like an idiot during the pandemic so far.
It looks like it’s us (and Britney) against the Covid. Because after all these years, it’s still her prerogative to surprise us in the best ways.