Britney Spears thinks she just broke Usain Bolt's world record by sprinting 100m in 5.97 seconds

Louis Staples
Thursday 26 March 2020 16:45
Showbiz

Is there anything Britney Spears can’t do?

Just days after defeating capitalism once and for all by calling for a wealth redistribution and general strike in response to the coronavirus pandemic, the ‘Work, B*tch!' singer is back to work (b*tch) making the world a better place.

In a rare break from from shattering chart records, now she’s “breaking” records in sport.

… Well, so she says.

Brit has claimed revealed she ran 100m in just 5.97 seconds as she casually said she was “getting back into running”.

If these numbers are true, Britney Spears is probably the fastest person in the world, given that the current world record for running 100m is held by Usain Bolt at 9.58 seconds. Go Brit!

Writing on Instagram about her “100 metre dash”, she said:

Ran my first 5 !!!! Getting over your fear of pushing it in the beginning is key …. once I did that I hit 5 !!!!!

Usually I run 6 or 7 …. my first try was 9 …. and now I did it whoop !!!!!

We suspect that all the athletes who were gearing up for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics will be breathing a deep sigh of relief that the games have been postponed. Britney would have cleaned up at the games with an impressive haul of meddles to add to the many awards she’s won for her music.

Sadly, we’re going to have to take this one with a pinch of salt, as fans were quick to point out that Spears being a record-breaking sprinter is probably quite unlikely. Either she's actually running a shorter distance or there's probably a timer error. But who are we to put limits on her talents?!

If Britney is half as good at running as she is at producing flawless pop bops or being a generally great person during the coronavirus pandemic then perhaps the world sprinting records isn’t beyond her grasp.

Usain Bolt found usurped!

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