No one can quite believe how bad this sex scene in Morrissey's new novel is

Matthew Champion@matthewchampion
Thursday 24 September 2015 14:00
Showbiz

Morrissey’s first novel has gone on sale.

Mozza’s second book, after the 2013 memoir he titled Autobiography, is called List of the Lost, and concerns a 1970s US relay team who accidentally kill a demon (with hilarious results!).

From his own description of the book:

The theme is demonology... the left-handed path of black magic. It is about a sports relay team in 1970s America who accidentally kill a wretch who, in esoteric language, might be known as a Fetch... a discarnate entity in physical form.

He appears, though, as an omen of the immediate deaths of each member of the relay team. He is a life force of a devil incarnate, yet in his astral shell he is one phase removed from life. The wretch begins a banishing ritual of the four main characters, and therefore his own death at the beginning of the book is illusory.

If that wasn’t enough to whet your appetite, one particular sex scene has been blowing up Twitter. Ready? Here we go:

Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone.

Um... OK.

Writing in the Guardian, reviewer Michael Hann said: “Do not read this book; do not sully yourself with it, no matter how temptingly brief it seems.”

Who said it: Morrissey or Russian literature?

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