This list was suggested by this magazine's editor, Mike Higgins, when he saw that Rio Ferdinand's memoir was called '#2Sides'. Ben Stanley nominated 'Auto Da Fay', by Fay Weldon, while Michael Crick nominated 'It's About a Ball', by Alan Ball, but those are both superb.
1. 'Losing My Virginity' by Richard Branson
Nominated by John McTernan.
2. 'They Made a Monkee out of Me' by Davy Jones
From Chris White.
3. 'Momentum' by Mo Mowlam Lovely author; appalling play on words.
Suggested by Tom Doran.
4. 'If I Did It' by OJ Simpson
On grounds of distaste rather than lack of taste. From Issy Flamel.
5. 'Rags to Richie' by Shane Richie
From The G-Man.
6. 'In the Time of Nick' by Nick Owen
Nearly brilliant by the newsreader. Nominated by Sam Freedman.
7. 'Fan Dabi Dozi' by the Krankies
To compound the horror, the foreword is by Max Bygraves. Issy Flamel again.
8. 'Watt's My Name' by boxer Jim Watt
Nominated by someone going under the name "And Pseudoreality Wins".
9. 'Tosh' by John Toshack
Footballer's memoir nominated by Alan Beattie, who adds, "Though not as awful as his book of poetry (really), Gosh It's Tosh."
10. 'My Booky Wook', by Russell Brand
The G-Man again. An appeal that this was a reference to A Clockwork Orange was turned down.
John Rentoul's 'Listellany: A Miscellany of Very British Top 10s, from Politics to Pop' (Elliott & Thompson, £9.99; e-book £4.99) is out now