10 jokes that only posh people will find funny

Narjas Zatat@Narjas_Zatat
Thursday 21 April 2016 14:30
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Photo: Andrew Milligan / PA Wire/Press Association Images

As the Queen celebrates her 90th birthday in a palace surrounded by Corgis and butlers and royalty singing to her in Received Pronunciation, we are once more reminded of our commonness.

What is "poshness" exactly? Is it growing up with inherited wealth? Is it merely vocabularly? Or is it something else entirely?

Whatever it is, here are 10 jokes you will not get unless you have "it:"

1. When I heard the French 6th chord I just had to buy some Sauvignon Blanc.

2. Of course my family has a coat of arms. Doesn’t every family?

3. Privately educated university student 1: "Wow, you’d have to have been hit over the head really hard to do something that stupid.” Privately educated university student 2: "-Or have gone to state school.”

4. At Cambridge University during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialogue ensued: Proctor: "I beg your pardon?" Student: "Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale." Proctor: "Sorry, no." Student: "Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale."

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (roughly translated): 'Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale.' Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away. Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

Source: jokebuddha

4. A trip to Argos is like theater for the poor.

  • Michael McIntyre

Source: Telegraph

5. I became monstrously posh as a child. My dad, who was Canadian, would say: "You sound like an a- - - - - - e." And I’d just say: "Oh, Papa, why do you speak of me in such ill tones?"

  • Also Michael McIntyre

Source: Telegraph

6. An equine perused into a local drinking establishment and the landlord inquired about his extended facade

Source: Twitter

7. What did the bottle of Chateau '66 say to the Lambrini? Stop being so immature

Source: Twitter

8. You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

source: jokes4us

9. My mate bet with me that I'd never eat at a barbecue with Matthew Corbett - I said, that's a Sweep-Stake!

source: jokes4us

10. And the indelible Jack Whitehall, King of Posh Jokes:

I did a bit of charity work once on my gap year. I went and did a bit of volunteer work in a special needs school for children. Just playing games with them, football, tennis. And it does genuinely make you feel really good inside... because you always win.

More: 11 words that mean completely different things if you're posh

More: 90 entirely serious reasons to abolish the monarchy

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