6 of the worst pieces of sex advice on the internet

Roisin O'Connor@Roisin_OConnor
Friday 04 November 2016 12:15
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There's a lot of bad advice on the internet, but when it comes to sex, there are some real gems.

A recent video from BuzzFeed entitled "6 Easy Masturbation Hacks For Men" suggests various methods for men to pleasure themselves.

The 'hack' that caused the most consternation was number 4, which isn't really surprising.

BuzzFeed suggests that men cut a hole into a bar of soap with a knife, then insert their penis into said hole.

(Screengrab/YouTube)

Oh, and they should wear a condom, because the soap might irritate their skin.

In light of this, here are some more of the worst pieces of sex advice we found on the internet:

1) Swaddle Her (Men's Health)

While you're rolling around in bed, wrap her up in the sheet so she can't do anything with her arms (think burrito or straightjacket).

NB to men: Your girlfriend is not a burrito.

2) Sprinkle pepper under his nose before he climaxes (Cosmo)

Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel-good effects

Unless you're having sex in the kitchen, immediate access to a spice rack sounds unlikely. Also seasoning your boyfriend is more sinister than sexy.

Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in 'Silence of the Lambs' (1991)(Orion Pictures)

3) Publicly lick her (Men's Health)

If you're out in public but want to make your intentions clear, slowly and firmly flick your tongue against the palm of her hand. If she just wipes it off down her skirt, you've blown it.

What are you, a labrador?

4) Treat her like a prostitute (AskMen)

I guess, in the end, there are plenty of women who want to be, for lack of a better word, slutty in the bedroom.

They simply fear that if they behave in such a manner, then their men will think less of them, and some are even afraid that their men will mistakenly begin treating them differently outside the bedroom as well. All the same, many women are big fans of scenarios such as the one described.

No.

5) The key to sexiness may lie in yoghurt - at least for mice (Men's Health)

The testicles of mice fed a yogurt diet were 5 percent bigger than those on a regular diet—and 15 percent bigger than mice fed a “junk food diet,” according to a new study out of MIT. While scientists aren’t sure what causes this mice “swagger,” they believe probiotics in yogurt are involved.

Yes, because that's what everyone is looking for in men. Yoghurt testicles.

6) 'Facial intercourse' (Men's Health)

This smooch mimics sex from foreplay to penetration, beginning with a tongue exploration inside the mouth. Rub your tongues together in small and large circles, then dart them in and out of your mouths as if you were having intercourse.

Here's a tip. Don't do facial intercourse.

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