9 jokes only George Osborne would find funny

Bethan McKernan@mck_beth
Tuesday 24 May 2016 12:00
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On Monday the Times diary spied George Osborne out with a few cronies for a birthday lunch in Shoreditch, east London.

Apparently there was a lot of birthday bants, including an overheard joke about what the working classes and aristocrats have in common - that they both live on estates and have gambling problems (ba-dum-tss.)

In light of what we know about the chancellor's envelope-pushing sense of humour, here's a few more jokes guaranteed to tickle Osborne's funny bone. Because you know what they say; it's not fun if you're not punching down.

1. On Greece's financial troubles, via Jon Stewart:

Have you ever been just fed up, and you think, 'You know what? Enough with the rat race and chasing some materialistic dream. I'm just going to chuck it all and move to some fishing village. Drink ouzo and eat grilled lamb all day. Charm tourists with my lusty, full-of-life attitude while subsisting on a pensioner's stipend?'

Sounds nice, and it is. Now what would happen if an entire country had that idea... at the same time.

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4. Buzzie Bavasi:

We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules.

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7. Via the Guardian:

Straight outta St Pauls, crazy motherf--ker named Gideon From the gang called Tories with Millions When I'm called off, I got a Purdey Squeeze the trigger, and pheasants all bloody You too, boy, if ya fuck with me The police are gonna hafta come and get me Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out For the Labour motherf--kers that's showin out

8.

9. Actual quote from George W. Bush:

This is an impressive crowd: the 'Haves' and 'Have-mores'. Some people call you the elites. I call you my base.

More: Here's George Osborne being bullied by two children in a school playground

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