9 things that your therapist will never tell you

Narjas Zatat@Narjas_Zatat
Sunday 18 September 2016 13:30

Statistics show that record numbers of Britons are seeking professional help in the form of therapy, and more than a quarter of people in the UK have consulted a counsellor or therapist.

According to a poll by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy people aged between 35 and 44 are more likely to use counselling services.

People have recently asked therapists, or at least people who claimed to be therapists on reddit, some of the things they wish they could tell their patients.

The answers were revealing, to say the least - thank goodness for professionalism:

1. It's not you, it's your parents.

Your parents are f---king s---heads, don't listen to a thing they say.

2. In fact, your parents might be the ones in need of therapy.

The issue is with you, Mum, not this kid.

When you leave, this kid opens right up, and we talk about philosophy and art and music and video games and anything else that strikes his fancy. The minute you come back to pick him up, he closes right up, and even a total moron knows that there's a dynamic there that's not at all healthy.

3. <Insert instruction here>

Sometimes I have to resist the urge to tell my clients what to do.

4. Do the homework. It's annoying for everyone if you don't.

I guess one thing I'd like to tell patients if they're listening is to please do the homework we assign (unless you don't want the help in which case let us know that).

5. There's nothing glamourous about drugs and alcohol. It's not like the movies.

The biggest thing in general would be: Stop glamorizing the life.

 As much fun as sitting around in group and trading stories might be, ultimately it's not very f---in' helpful in the whole 'Trying not to do drugs' thing.

6. If you don't put effort in, you're not going to get better.

Shit's not going to get better if you don't want to put the work in! So start making the effort or go home!

7. From a massage therapist: you're overweight,which is probably why you're aching.

Your back and legs and everything else hurts because you're overweight. Not because you think you pulled a muscle.

8. Stop trying to "fix" yourself.

If you keep putting yourself down like this, you'll always be trying to fix who you are. Instead, get a good image of who you want to be, and work towards that, instead of trying to be perfect to everybody.

9. Just get that divorce.

Stop wasting everyone's time and for the love of God stop destroying each other AND GET THE DAMN DIVORCE ALREADY.

If you are in need of some form of psychiatric help, do contact your GP for an appointment, where you can be treated. If you think you or someone you care about is in need of support for a mental health problem, there is someone to talk to at The Samaritans 24 hours a day on FREECALL 116 123 and advice on where to get help at mentalhealth.org.uk.

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