When Joey Royle received a message from a number he didn’t recognise he knew that, yet again, a woman somewhere had given out his number instead of her own to fend off unwanted attention.
But unlike other times – where he ignored the message – he brought forth his alter ego: Elsie.
Behold his troll:
The man in question started off solidly: nothing says intelligent with a sprinkle of pretentiousness like referencing a 17th century artist
Elsie engages in witty repartee
Uno and brie sounds better than Netflix and Chill tbh
Obviously Elsie hadn't made the rendezvous. Because she's, you know - Joey...
Elsie made up an elaborate lie. A week after no communication and the poor guy still reached out (in a completely casual and nonchalant way)...
It almost threw
Joey Elsie, but she saved it quickly...
And Elsie, who was probably getting rather sick of the messages, nipped the issue firmly in the bud
If you've been stood up by an Elsie in Melbourne, it may well have been this one: