Male in need of advice? Here's what not to say after sex. These comments come via a viral and completely wonderful Reddit thread.
'I thought your boobs were way bigger than they actually are.' Literally right after
Finished. Rolled away from each other. He gets on his laptop and plays the stupid 'I just had sex' song. Horrible way to lose my virginity.
'This is probably the worst sexual experience of your life.' It was.
He was looking at me and said You know, I wanted to keep doing this regularly but you reeeeeally look alot like my sister.. I know that is so creepy and I'm sorry.. pause I'm sure we could work around it though.
I'd hooked up with this guy a few times before. I gave him a blowjob, I swallowed, assuming at this point, we're kinda close. No big deal. IMMEDIATELY after I swallowed, he looked at me and said, That's disgusting.
My shirt came off and he remarked the Mounds of Sheba!
Him: hey, did u know the door was open? Me: the front door? Him: yeah but the screen door is still shut. Me: omigod! Do u think the neighbors heard? Him: i don't know, they quit knocking after a few minutes.
I was my boyfriend's first time. He was really nervous at the start and we begun quite awkwardly. After the deed, he pulled out and said, 'Welp. That was underwhelming.'
Now you are like my favourite biscuits. cream filled.
Do you have a yeast infection or something?
8 months pregnant he had just finished. He looks over and says 'that'll do pig, that'll do.'
'I have to go pick up my girlfriend from work now.'
'Linda, you're the best I've ever had.' My name is NOT Linda.
'Wait here, I have to call my mom'