There's just a day and a half left before the UK votes on whether to remain in the European Union. The polls are in disagreement on what the outcome will be on one of the biggest political decisions in a generation - which is making many people understandably nervous.
While European expats have rushed to apply for British citizenship, many Brits, alarmed by the idea that our freedom to roam across the continent as we please may be about to be culled, have done the opposite.
But if you're not lucky enough to already hold a foreign passport, what can you do? Read on for your depressingly bleak options...
1. Go to www.ancestry.co.uk
This is probably your own feasible option. Hunt down any direct ancestor in the last few generations of your family who was born outside this sceptered isle, or with a residency visa or right to claim citizenship somewhere else, figure out if your parent can apply for it in the foreign country too, then get your own.
It's expensive, time consuming, and relies on the luck of your family tree but it's easier than literally any other alternative. Bonus tip: start with Ireland.
2. Get a new job
If you want to go to Europe after we've left, you won't be an attractive candidate for most firms because of the paperwork and costs involved. Ditto for the rest of the Western world, really.
We hear lawyering is good for getting employers to pay for visas. But that might involve playing the long game.Picture: YURI KADOBNOV/AFP/Getty Images
3. Become an international sports star
Erm. Another long game option.
4. Hedge your bets by moving to Scotland
In the event of a Brexit, another Scottish independence referendum could be on the horizon. And this time, it'll be an Aye win.
5. Get married
This obviously works much better if you're already in love with a foreigner. But it's also possible through friends, acquaintances, and dodgy expensive arrangements made online.
We wish you a lifetime of happiness fooling immigration officials together.Picture: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
6. Australia and New Zealand will welcome you
But only if you're 18-30. And only for two years, max. And only if you agree to do back-breaking, poorly paid manual work.
7. Declare your own Republic
Not the easiest option, perhaps. But you could go to the United Nations and make a passionate plea for your right to self determination (ie not the same plea currently beeing made by Nigel Farage and the rest of the Brexit gang).