Are you the smartest person at the dinner table this Christmas?
Cracker jokes aren't a fair test.
Here's some jokes to tickle your brain as well as your funny bone:
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.
Duh dum chh.
I poured root beer into a square cup.
Now I just have beer.
All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.
(Credit: Stephen Wright)
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
A programmer went to the grocery store.
His wife said "while you are out, go get some milk"
He never came back.
Jean Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress,
I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.
The waitress replies,
I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?
Your momma is so mean, she has no standard deviation.
No matter how kind you think your children are, German children are kinder.
How do you tell Oedipus to stop swearing?
Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
The barman says:
We don't serve time travellers in here!
A man walks into a bar.
A German man orders a Martini.
The barman asks:
The German replies:
No thank you, just one.