This is what love is. Tolerable pettiness. When love dies, you're just left with regular pettiness.
One broken up couple from Cheshire just testified to this universal truth.
According to the Daily Mail, Harriet's ex boyfriend Dan, who, according to Harriet, had cheated on her, demanded she pay him the money he'd spent on Justin Bieber concert tickets.
Dan sounds great.
Harriet, who saved Dan in her phone with his name next to a snake emoji, took screenshots of their exchanges by text, and posted them to Twitter.
She later set the account to private, but the tale can seen on Imgur.
Firstly, Dan demands back the cash 'for the JB tickets', with much urgency. Harriet agreed, but then Dan (why are they always called 'Dan'?) pestered her.
Dan: Send it for tonight as I need it.
Dan: Just send it pls.
Harriet: I've set up a direct debit so you will receive 1p every day.
Women are very practical, and as well as being a scorned lover, Harriet is presumably a fiscal conservative. Good work.
The full exchange can be read on Imgur:
On most bank transfers, you can give the transaction a name. Lots of fun can be had with this.
Also extreme pettiness.
Every day for the next 6,205 days Dan's bank statement will have the words 'cheating c***' written on it, next to the £0.01 from Harriet.
Hammering home for the next 17 years that he was rejected by a hilarious woman.
Reminding him he once bought Bieber tickets.
We may have reached the petty singularity, when our skilled relationship pettiness becomes one with technology, and is outstripped by it.
With no effort, an automated pettiness. For years to come.
It's unknown how Dan responded to the advent of the installment plan. Probably in some classic Dan way.