This is Piers Morgan.
He's employed by Mail Online as US editor-at-large, but he's currently on a yacht moored off Cannes in the French Riviera.
And he wants to tell us about it. It started off ominously.
But then escalated quickly.
Like super quick.
Until it escalated so much that the word escalate itself no longer had any meaning.
And then we reached full circle.
The whole thing is just wrong.