Forget Drake and Pusha T, Poundland and Thameslink is the real feud of 2018

Jake Hall
Thursday 31 May 2018 08:30
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Photo: iSTOCK / tupungato / Twitter / @TLRailUK

This week, the ongoing beef between Drake and Pusha T has dominated headlines worldwide.

You might see the incendiary diss tracks, the salacious claims and the unearthed 'blackface' photos, and be tempted to call it the biggest beef of 2018 - but don't.

Hold on.

The two rap giants now have a serious contender: the Poundland vs Thameslink beef.

Tension between the two companies began earlier this week, when a disgruntled customer tweeted their disapproval at Thameslink. In the kind of cheeky, 'personable' company response that's increasingly commonplace since complaints departments migrated to Twitter, a Thameslink employee replied:

Very sorry Kevin. Appreciate at the moment the service is less Ferrero Rocher and more Poundland cooking chocolate.

We are working out [how] best to help stabilise the service.

Scandalous!

The sassy tweet, sent by an employee known only as 'Neil', soon began circulating online and quickly gained the attention of Poundland bosses, who released a furious - and, to be honest, equally sassy - statement threatening legal action.

The statement reads:

Dear Mr Horton,

We couldn't help but notice your Twitter team described your failure to provide an adequate service as 'Poundland' cooking chocolate.

Aside from the breach of our trademark, we think you're taking the chocolate biscuit.

In the past week, on the introduction of new timetables your rail company has

1. Cancelled hundreds of services,

2. Blamed a dog on the line for delays and

3. Secretly cancelled services rather than have to announce they're cancelled

Frankly, you have no right to use our name to describe poor service. We served 8 million shoppers last week and didn't have to close any store due to leaves on the roof, the wrong kind of rain, or a shortage of managers.

In fact, our Welshpool store flooded and our store colleagues stood at the entrance to help customers get their shopping, so we stayed open.

We think we have a pretty good idea about what great customer service is compared to most rail companies.

But if we ever fall short, perhaps we'll describe ourselves a bit ThamesLink.

If you don't want to hear from our extremely twitchy legal team, we suggest you remove your tweet.

A presumably red-faced Neil then deleted the tweet, sending an official apology.

Poor Neil.

There's a lot to unpick here, but arguably the best bit is the quoted article which describes the "chaos and shambles" that resulted from Thameslink's timetable changes.

The company blamed a "dog on the line" for the delays.

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