The things parents pretend to be angry about but secretly aren't

Evanbartlett@ev_bartlett
Tuesday 11 August 2015 17:20
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Raising children is an undertaking loaded with peril. While kids need to be disciplined for their misbehaviour, parents sometimes just can't help but be amused by their ingenuity.

In a Reddit thread, parents have been sharing some of the times they had to show their children that they were angry but deep down were actually impressed.

Here are 10 of the best instances:

1. When kids just tell it how it is

When I was at the grocery store with my 5 year old son we were in the check out when the lady behind us plopped the biggest watermelon I'd ever seen on the conveyer. My son took one glance and yelled 'What the f--k? Thats huge!' The cashier stopped in her tracks and looked totally shocked. I said, 'He said "what the what", it's from a cartoon called Gumball that he watches.' But he quickly corrected me with, 'No dad, that watermelon is f---ing huge, I want one.' I'm apparently a terrible father.

Via Spr0ckets

2. When kids flout the rules

I live with my dad and my nine year old daughter. I sometimes go to the gym at night and tell my daughter to brush her teeth while I'm gone. When I get back she shows me a video on our tablet of her brushing her teeth as proof. A few days ago I realised that her hairstyle was slightly different in the video, and I figured out that she had simply prerecorded herself brushing her teeth in several different outfits. While I was fairly impressed at this, I kept a straight face and explained to her that when I was a kid, grandpa would beat me savagely with a set of jumper cables whenever I didn't brush my teeth. Since then she's been brushing several times a day on her own.

Via RogerSimon10

3. When kids troll their parents

My nine year old son called me into his room because he had a monster in his closet. I tell him he's too old for that kind of thing and to go back to sleep. He pleads with me to check. I open the door and turn on the light, staring back at me is some scruffy looking thing with angry eyes and I scream. It was a mirror. I'm trying to see if I'm having a heart attack and he's laughing his troll ass off."

Via Weird in Chicago

4. When kids game the system

My son's teacher incentivises the kids for participation/helpful behaviour in the class. She used blank slips of paper, and hands them to the kids to write their names on and put them in the ballot box. My son realised there were no special marking on the ballots and it was just standard lined paper so he started submitted his name many times a day. My son stuffed the weekly ballot box for classroom prizes from the teacher for two or three months. Once she caught on to it, the teacher was upset about his dishonesty. I was impressed that a 6 year old outsmarted a 45 year old for weeks on end.

Via JaquesNoir

5. When kids get good with anagrams

My 16 year old son and his buddies decided to call their dodgeball team "Snipe" so that they could "accidentally" stand in front of the whole school with their lettered t-shirts spelling out 'Penis'. Such a proud mom, I was!

Via TallyWhackerLacker

6. When kids overcome their bullies

When my daughter was 6, a boy in school was bullying her. He was confronting her one day, in front of his buddies, and said, 'I bet you don't have the nerve to kick me in the nuts.' She did... The kid who was bullying her left her alone after that.

Via Intestinal Hurry

7. When kids pack a surprising punch

My daughter, 15, just took up boxing (actual boxing, not boxercise) for fun. On Sunday, when we were playing around sparring in the backyard, she caught me with a right hook that was hard enough to make me see stars for a couple minutes. I'm a 110kg guy, ex heavyweight. Was so impressed and full of love I was speechless."

Via imnotsurethatsnotok

8. When kids just tell it how it is, part two

Kindergarten teacher wanted a word with us because our son had called a wasp a 'dirty f---er'. Turns out she wasn't as impressed as I was.

Via ShyHero

9. When kids become secretly good engineers

Put a hole in the wall of my room. Repaired it by painting the back side of some photo paper and gluing it to the wall. My dad was fairly upset when he found it about 2 years later, but later admitted that my McGyver repair job was impressive.

Via Mr Vorland

10. When kids get surprisingly good at forgery

My mother recently passed but in sixth grade I mastered her signature until she found it on something she never remembered signing. She acted mad as hell but I found from my other relatives that she was going around showing them how good a forgery it was and having them guess which was which."

Via 2SpoonyForkMeat

More: These are some of the cruellest and funniest lies parents have told their children

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