Noisy eaters, incessant coughers, chatty partners: there are a fair few annoyances which can ruin a good cinema experience.
But last week, an Avengers super-fan – known only as ‘Superman’ – went a step further, sending his girlfriend an extensive set of rules she must follow if she is to go with him to see the upcoming Infinity War.
In fairness, he does offer to buy her anything she wants to eat, but then follows up by explaining that, under no circumstances, should she talk to him during the film. Even PDAs are off-limits:
No hand-holding, it’ll distract me and I’ll miss things I’ve waited 10 years to see. Save your cooties until post post-credits scene(s). Kissing also applies.
He also demands emotional investment in the film’s main characters and stipulates a 24-hour cancellation period:
If you cancel last minute and I have to watch alone, you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.
Finally, his poor girlfriend is also required to intervene and tackle any potential murderous gunmen to the ground – a feat which is easier said than done. His tone is obviously tongue-in-cheek, but the Internet could clearly relate; the post currently has over 200,000 likes. Maybe he’s just saying what we’ve all wanted to say to our cinema buddies at some point.