This week a woman's description of what she eats in an average day for a newspaper went viral. The reason why is fairly self-explanatory:
It begins at 6am with a “hot water and lemon” before a shower, with a naughty “handful of nuts” before a run, then a delicious “green juice”, later followed by a satisfying evening meal of “kale salad with pistachios”.
The general reaction was like this:
Followed by a few suggestions of what other people consumed in a typical day.
In this spirit, here's mine:
(Please note: Times may vary)
My day on a plate
5am: Wake up shouting expletives. Black coffee.
7am: Black coffee, potentially a croissant or some Ibroprofen, depending on what day it is. Still shouting expletives, now in the office.
8.30am: Maybe a latte.
11am: Some raisins with yogurt on them, because raisins are fruit and fruit is healthy.
1pm: Crawl out of the office to find something edible on the high street. Sometimes I find something edible in the canteen.
3pm: I usually feel a dip in energy and start craving caffeine, so I drink coffee which has caffeine in it.
8pm: Literally anything that isn’t kale salad with pistachios.
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