You think your last Tinder date was bad? Liam Smyth can beat you, hands down. No, really - you'll struggle to compete.
It was so bad, he needed a Gofundme page afterwards...
Smyth says on the page he took his date to chicken eatery Nando’s, then the pair went back to his student house for a documentary and some wine.
It was at this point that it started to go very wrong indeed.
About an hour in to Louis Theroux and chill, my date got up to use the toilet. She returned with a panicked look in her eye, and told me she had something to tell me.
"I went for a poo in your toilet", she told me "and it would not flush. I don't know why I did this, but I panicked", she continued "I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window".
I was understandably concerned, and told her we would go outside, bag up the offending poo in the garden, bin it, and pretend the whole sorry affair had never happened.
But the toilet window doesn’t open up to the outside. It opens to a second, much smaller window, with a one-and-a-half foot gap in-between. That window... doesn’t open.
His date decided she would step up to the plate and deal with this mess.
Being an amateur gymnast, she was convinced that she could reach into the window and pull the poo out.
Eventually I agreed to give her a boost up and into the window. She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came. She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and I pulled. But she was stuck. Stuck fast. Try as we might, we could not remove her from the window. She was stuck fast, upside down in the gap.
And it looked like this:
After becoming “concerned for her health,” Liam had to call the fire brigade. He writes:
Bristol's finest were on scene sirens blairing in a matter of minutes. Once they had composed themselves after surveying the scene in front of them, they set to work removing my date from the window using all of their special firemen hammers and tools. It took them about 15 minutes.
And here they are:
In the harrowing process, they had to destroy the window - hence with Smyth is crowdfunding for the money replace it.
More importantly though, we need to know if there will be a second date.