Forget the Oscars, get over the greatest novels of the year and bin that boxset you're obsessed with.
We've found the greatest story that will ever - and has ever - been told. And it's on Twitter, obviously.
Comedian Zak Toscani gathered the people of Twitter round the fire (or their phones, whatever) to tell his tale - it's unverified, sure, but there's no way a mere human mind could be the author of a story so special.
It starts off in a familiar scene: an office, a stolen lunch, an unknown thief.
But there is a new addition to the traditional tale: CCTV and, more importantly, the victim having access to it.
The story gets even more bizarre - and disturbing.
The clues added up to a chilling picture.
The office had never seen days more tense.
The most disturbing, two-faced parts of humanity soon showed their face.
You'd think the twists and turns are surely over. But they are relentless.