Being invited to someone's wedding is a true honour that anyone in their right mind would appreciate and value, even if they weren't exactly welcome at the wedding anymore...
That's the attitude one man took when he dumped his girlfriend but still wanted to attend her sister's wedding which was taking place in the sunny US state of Hawaii.
Now anyone would be gutted to miss out on a trip to such an exotic location, especially when a substantial amount of money had already been contributed to the wedding getaway.
Posting on the notorious subreddit 'Am I the A**hole' the man explained that he didn't intend to gate crash the wedding but simply wanted to go on holiday and was even prepared to sleep on the hotel sofa.
However, his ex-girlfriend claimed that his mere presence would ruin the entire wedding but she was unwilling to refund what he had paid for the trip and also cancelled his plane ticket without his permission. He wrote:
My girlfriend and I had been together for 2 and a half years. Before my decision to break up we had bought a vacation package together for her sisters wedding in Maui. She was short on splitting the cost so I covered $1,700 of the $2,500 total cost.
After the breakup, she would not allow me to go with her because it was my choice to end the relationship and she would not be paying me back for any part of the trip. I insisted that I should still be able to go because of the amount I paid towards the trip.
All I wanted to do was go to Hawaii sleep on the couch of the hotel we had in the evening and be gone the rest of the day. She made the argument I would be ruining her sisters wedding, which none of her family was staying at the same hotel we had booked and had no plans to hang out or be a part of any part of the wedding.
She then cancelled my ticket without telling me and I will never see any of the $1,700 back or the money she got back for my plane ticket.
Edit: I want to make it very clear I wanted little to no interaction with her the whole trip. I understand staying at the same hotel was going to be a bad time mmmk....I’m more p**sed my flight was canceled without my knowledge and before I could find a cheap hostel of sorts as an alternative.
What potentially started out as a problematic attempt to go on holiday quickly turned into a tale of injustice and a lack of consideration from his former lover and some of the good folks of Reddit were on his side, with many saying he should take her to small claims court.
If it was just a vacation, I'd say cancel her ticket since you paid for most of it. But since it's to go to her sister's wedding, I say take her to small claims court for the amount you paid.
Its weird to think you could go on a vacation with her once you broke up But her cancelling your tickets after you paid more than her sucks. Go small claims court to get your money back.
You should sue her for what she owes you for your trip and the $1700.
Many disagreed and said that he was just making things even more complicated by insisting on going on the trip.
Going against popular opinion here, but YTA. You dumped her. Now you want to tag along with her to Hawaii just to get your money's worth?
Think about it from her perspective:
It's her sister's wedding, a special occasion that she had been looking forward to to spend time with family, friends, and with you. Now she is going alone. Do you know how much it sucks going to a wedding as newly single (even if it's been a few months)?
You dumped her. The relationship is over. And everyone knows that the best way to get through a breakup is to have zero contact with the ex.
Getting away to Hawaii for the wedding is her chance at getting away from it all. Now, she has to see your obnoxious arse on the couch in her hotel room every morning and night she is there.
I agree. YTA. If he was so concerned about his $1700 and the trip to Hawaii in general, he should have waited to break up with her. If she broke up with him, I'd have a different opinion.
But because he made the choice, he should have known that she would not want him at her sister's wedding, and therefore he would not be going to Hawaii. He had already agreed to pay the $1700. Maybe she wouldn't have gone to Hawaii at all if he hadn't helped her out.
Also, people are forgetting that the total trip cost was $2500, so his half was $1250. If anything, she should reimburse him for the additional $450 to make them even, and he should forfeit the $1250 for his half, since, again, he broke up with her.
Overall, it's just a very complicated situation, which there is no right or wrong answer.
huhhhwhattttttt probably summed it up best:
It’s not like they are married. It’s still his money. Technically, she did steal it. He isn’t obligated to stay in a relationship with her. He has the right to break up with her.
They aren’t married. They didn’t sign a contract. For all we know she could of cheated on him. Etc. It’s weird that he wants to be in the same hotel, same flight, and same room.