John Oliver went on a sweary and brilliant rant against Paris terrorists

Matthew Champion@matthewchampion
Monday 16 November 2015 12:50
Celebrities

Some NSFW language

John Oliver spent two minutes addressing the Paris attacks at the start of his Last Week Tonight show on HBO on Sunday.

You can watch an unofficial clip below, and we've transcribed the monologue here:

Look, it's hardly been 48 hours and much is still unknown, but there are a few things we can say for certain. And this is when it actually helps to be on HBO, where those things can be said without restraint. Because after the many necessary and appropriate moments of silence, I'd like to offer you a moment of premium cable profanity.

So, here is where things stand. First, as of now, we know this attack was carried out by gigantic fucking arseholes. Unconscionable flaming arseholes, possibly working with other fucking arseholes, definitely working in service of an ideology of pure arseholery.

Second, and this goes almost without saying... fuck these arseholes. Fuck them, if I may say, sideways. And third, it is important to remember, nothing about what these arseholes are trying to do is going to work.

France is going to endure, and I'll tell you why, if you're in a war of culture and lifestyle with France, good fucking luck, because go ahead. Go ahead, bring your bankrupt ideology, they'll bring Jean-Paul Sartre, Edith Piaf, fine wine, Gauloise cigarettes, Camus, camembert, madeleines, macarons, Marcel Proust and the fucking croquembouche.

You just brought a philosophy of rigorous self-abnegation to a pastry fight my friend; you are fucked, that is a French freedom tower.

Watch the clip below:

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