Magazines peddling constant dieting advice are the worst.
So when a glossy advertised an article for celebrity diet tips, featuring Lena Dunham and “how she gets motivated,” Lena herself decided to weigh in on things.
I have no tips I give no tips I don't want to be on this cover cuz it's diametrically opposed to everything I've fought my whole career for and it's not a compliment to me because it's not an achievement
In the same post, Dunham also listed her own "slimdown tips,” and they’re worth a read:
1. Anxiety disorder *
2. Resultant constant nausea
3. An election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny
4. Constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future
5. Abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus *
6. Baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through snail mail
7. Watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains
8. Finally realizing superheroes aren't real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they'd handle this)
9. Marching your ass off
10. A quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge
11. Sleeping 19 hours a day
12. Realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut
13. Worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don't
14. Realizing who ya real friends are
15. Having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved)
16. Bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency *
17. Having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like [email protected]
18. Keeping your back arched against the wind
19. Um, who the fuck cares?
* Star indicates a pre-existing condition