Online dating is a minefield - pure and simple.
Meeting someone online can be cringe worthy, particularly if there’s been seedy DM sliding or sexting involved beforehand. There’s the waiting on them to reply, or wondering how long you should take to reply.
Worrying that someone won’t look like their photos is a common worry. Some people view it as deliberate deception, whereas others believe that, in the dating world, anything goes.
One Reddit user, KilljoyKillsjoy, found himself wondering whether he should feel guilty for feeling tricked by his date and wishing she looked more like her photos.
Though his story, with many twists and turns, isn’t as clear as it seems. The post reads:
"I'll try to keep this short.
I'm on Tinder and I see a cute chick so I swipe right. In two of her pics it's clear she has a twin. Cool. Not identical, but close enough. They were both above the shoulder shots. We start talking and she's ramping up to be perfect, you know how crushes are yadda yadda.
This last weekend we had our first date. I get there early and wait for her outside and she shows up much larger than in her pics, but she's still cute and I'm not a picky man (plus tmi... dat ass). I figured that the pictures she'd used were from last year and that's fine. Not all my pics are recent either, I just threw up my best.
The date was actually awesome. The crush is still strong even as I'm typing it but... fuck I was suspicious, alright? That whole twin thing was a weird red? yellow? flag, especially how she talked about her sis. Nothing bad, just... dismissive? Idk how to describe it.
Anyways, so I check Facebook and the pictures she had used were from her sister's profile (not fully public but one was her profile pic and another one was visible on there so I'm guessing the rest are hers too). And I'm not sure how to feel now.
On one hand, I like her. On the other, she's using her sisters pics to get dates and that's... weird?? But they're twins so she legit would look just like her sis if she lost a bit of weight so it's not really lying??? And I get why she did it, we all got flaws we wanna pretend aren't there, but????
I asked my coworker's their opinion and it's divided as fuck (one lad said I was fat-shaming/lacking empathy), so since I found this sub recently I figured I'd ask here. WIBTA for canceling our second date because her pics don't match?"
Most Reddit users thought that he wasn't being horrible, but there were a variety of responses to his post.
One user agreed with him:
NTA. You are under no obligation to go on a second date. Period. Plus, she lied, and hid it. So, don’t fall into that type of relationship where it’s already based off lies. Good luck.
The end result is that you got catfished. Doesn't really matter that it's her twin, she's using pictures of someone that isn't her to get dates.
However, I also think you should at least see where it goes? If you really like this girl then I think it's worth seeing where this goes.
Finally, having read the advice, the original poster gave an update.
I ended up texting her after work: "Hey I went to add you on Facebook and your sister's profile popped up. What's going on?" with a screenshot of her sister's profile (since she had used her sis's profile pic on Tinder.)
Aaaaaand she blocked me. Without explaining anything. So I guess that decides that.