Bride makes her own mother pay for her 'big traditional wedding'

When comes to planning a wedding, not every bride and groom want the day to be a big traditional spectacle, despite what family members may expect.

One bride-to-be voiced this to her mum and informed her that she will have to foot the bill if she wants her daughter to have a big wedding.

In a post to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole?" forum, the woman questioned whether she was justified in saying this to her mother and provided some context around what was discussed.

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She detailed how her "mum and dad along with her fiancé's parents all offered to help pay for the wedding," and as they chatted about what they wanted their wedding to be like, "it became clear neither my fiancé or I are very interested in a huge traditional wedding in a church with a reception in a fancy venue."

"We're both more comfortable with the idea of a nice little relaxed ceremony somewhere beautiful and intimate, which obviously has the added bonus of being cheaper," the woman explained.

While some agreed with this plan, not all family members were on board - "My dad and my fiancé's parents are completely happy with this, but my mom is very opposed to the idea."

A bride-to-be is not on the same page as her mother in regards to how they want her wedding to look likeiStockphoto by Getty Images

"She keeps trying to convince me that I'll regret it, that if we go with a small wedding it won't be special and we might as well just get married in a courthouse. I'm her only child and she's upset she will never get the experience of seeing her kid get married in a big beautiful traditional wedding."

As a result of this difference in opinion, the topic has "come up in basically every conversation I've had with my mom for two weeks."

The woman then attempted to find a way to stop her mum in her tracks.

"Eventually I told her that the only way we'll agree to a big traditional wedding is if she agrees to be responsible for paying for the entire wedding. She can't really afford that so I figured that would shut the idea down."

"She said she already agreed to help pay for it and that the money from her, my dad, and my fiancé's family would pay for the wedding, but I insisted that since she is the only person who wants us to have that kind of wedding, she would need to be the one to pay for it. All of it."

At the end of the post, the bride-to-be concluded: "Now my mom is really upset and I'm worried I went too far. AITA?"

Since sharing her wedding dilemma, people have posted hundreds of comments expressing their thoughts and overall everyone believes that the bride is not the a**hole in this situation.

One person said: "NTA but you shut your mom down in the wrong way. You and your fiancé do not want a big wedding - that’s it. You stick to that, loudly and emphatically if you have to. That’s the reason you give her."

"Yep. Your wedding is not about what your mom wants. It's what you and your fiancé want. NTA," another person said.

Someone else added: "NTA, but stop trying to please everyone or anyone. You don't want a big wedding, full stop. Your mom is going to have to live with the disappointment of not seeing her child get married in the way of her fantasy. She'll live."

"Your mom's upset that you.... set a boundary??? GASP!

"NTA. If she wasn't so focused on 'I don't get to see my kid how I want to see them.' Then she could use her energy to just be happy your wanting a wedding at all instead of eloping. Put your foot down," a fourth person commented.

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