Stop everything you're doing: we've found the heist of the century.
Two burglars who were presumably unable to find a good bank to rob decided to break into Gay's The Word instead - the first LGBTQ+ bookshop ever to open in the UK. Because independent bookshops are famously a goldmine, obvs.
Anyway as we all know, nothing will foil a great laid plan like free booze. After ransacking the shop, the burglars happened upon a bottle of tequila which was leftover from a staff member's birthday. They did what we would all do: forgot what they were actually there for and lived their best lives. In other words, they got absolutely trollied.
Clearly not ones to cut a night of drinking short, they then moved onto the kitchen, where they found a bottle of prosecco, and decided that would do nicely.
Unbeknownst to them, a member of the public had heard the windows being smashed and called the police, who were closing in on the criminal masterminds while they were drinking away.
As I went through the shop afterwards, I found an empty bottle of tequila, and an open bottle of prosecco on the kitchen table downstairs. They seemed to have been boozing up mid-burglary, which probably wasn’t the most prudent thing to do.
Ocean's Eleven eat your heart out.
The burglars were presumably looking for cash, but only found a box where customers donated their change for LGBTQ+ youth charity Mosaic. In a delightful twist though, people have been coming together to help the bookshop get through this difficult time.
Customers turning up with bunches of flowers, people dropping off bottles of prosecco, publishers sending us free books and boxes of chocolates. We’ve felt really held and supported, and we’ve found that deeply touching.
The two men were sentenced, one receiving six months in jail and the other 16 weeks (suspended for 12 months). This seems somewhat lenient... but then again they will have to live with the knowledge that they screwed up their plan by getting drunk (relatable) and perhaps that's punishment enough?