American fails to sneak 8-inch scissors into Indiana prison up his 'anal cavity'

It feels mean to make him the ‘butt’ of the joke, but in the latest incident of an individual shoving a foreign object up their behind, an arrestee at La Porte County Jail in Indiana failed to conceal a pair of eight-inch scissors in his anus.

We’ll give you a moment to wince accordingly.

While the La Porte County Sheriff’s Office did not share the identity of the individual on Facebook on Thursday, they did explain that the issue presented itself when the arrestee was about to be taken in as an inmate but refused to take part in a body scan – something which is required prior to admittance.

And because it’s mandatory, the arrestee’s protestations didn’t cut it with the officers (sorry).

After he finally agreed to a scan, Lieutenant Jeff Holt identified “what appeared to be a foreign object inside the anal cavity” of the individual – specifically that of a “metal object”.

The arrestee refused to cooperate with an additional search by jail deputies, before a second body scan revealed “the foreign object had moved” (yes, really) and it could be positively identified as scissors.

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Apparently the scissors were removed from their location “a short time later”, and “without incident”.

The sheriff’s office went on to add that it isn’t the first unusual object arrestees have tried to smuggle into jail, with their body scanners previously identifying tattoo equipment, drugs and paraphernalia since they were introduced in 2017.

Captain Derek J. Allen commented: “The body scanner is an incredible state of the art tool used to ensure the safety and security of all within the La Porte County Jail.

“Lieutenant Holt is commended for relying upon his training and experience, and successfully preventing a dangerous edged object from making its way fully into the jail.”

We also commend him for preventing it from making its way fully up the man’s butthole too, now you mention it…

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