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Jeremy Paxman turned his hand to comedy on Channel 4 this evening as part of the broadcaster's Alternative Election Night coverage.
Some of the lines he tried out included:
It was in the 1980s that - after oil - hatred of the Tories became Scotland's second-biggest source of energy.
Not voting is like turning up to a restaurant, not looking at the menu and complaining that you didn't get chip.
Sadly, Twitter reaction suggests Paxman should stick to the day job - retirement.
Judge it - in part - for yourself here.
More: The first election results front pages from the UK papers