Man asks Reddit whether it's wrong to ask his brother not to come out at his wedding

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Ah, weddings. Bringing together everyone from every side of the family is always likely to cause some trouble, as one Reddit user is finding out.

Posting to AITA (Am I the A**hole?), Reddit user u/macacaralho wanted some advice as his brother, who isn’t yet out to the entire family, wanted to bring his boyfriend to his wedding.

While he and his parents both know his brother’s secret, his concern is that the decision will cause trouble with the extended family.

My brother is gay, but my family doesn’t know, only me and my parents know.

I come from a very old school traditional family, so the old part of the family, grandparents and some aunts/uncles still have last century’s mind, and the younger portion, cousins/sibilings are open minded, and are living in the present.

So my brother has been dating his bf for 6 months now, the dude is great, I’m so happy my brother found a great guy. But it’s kind of a secret, as he hasn’t told my family he is gay.

Posted the user. While he said he’s been encouraging his brother to come out for years, he’s concerned that the decision will cause drama on his big day.

I would fight my whole family for my brother and never speak to them again if I had to, but my wedding day is supposed to be a celebration, not a family fight, and I can’t do this to my wife, that might ruin our future.

The poster made it clear that while he’s worried he’s being an a**hole, he doesn’t believe his brother is at all. The other users mostly were in agreement that he’s not doing anything wrong:

God, I'm queer and I gotta say, a sibs wedding would NOT be the place to trot out that bit of my life. It's your wedding it's your day.

"Lesbian here, and I agree. Any wedding other than your own is NOT the place to come out.” said another, while others more strongly spoke out against the brother.

Some helpfully tried to suggest a compromise, with one saying,

Invite the boyfriend to the family brunch the next day. Don't let it overshadow your day, which is what you have done.

The next morning still allows that wedding / good fam vibes thing, but the pictures are done. Hopefully, this family will figure everything out before the wedding day.

Many compared it to announcing a pregnancy on someone else’s wedding day, which doesn’t seem equal – all the brother really wants to do is be free to bring his partner to his brother’s wedding, like anyone should be able to.

HT Someecards

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