This man questioned if it's OK to ask his pregnant wife to move out - and the internet responded with fury

Lowenna Waters
Wednesday 01 May 2019 14:30
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Picture:(Getty Images/iStockphoto)

There are no two ways about it, being pregnant is an incredible thing, but it's also very difficult.

Not only do you have to contend with hormonal imbalances, weight gain, and back pain, but you've also actually got to get the baby out of your body at one point too, which isn't exactly an appealing concept.

So, it's somewhat understandable if women aren't always on their best, most relaxed behaviour during pregnancy, as this Reddit thread illustrates.

Taking to the social media site, Reddit user stupidtest_1 said:

My wife is pregnant with our daughter. Initially we were really happy and excited about it. But then, she starts acting like a nut job. She gets angry and irritated for small things, insults me when she doesn't like the food I make, starts acting insecure and accuses me of losing attraction for her.

For example, she wanted to eat chicken sandwiches for dinner last week. Well, I made chicken sandwiches. So she eats all the sandwiches, leaves me nothing and told me that they tasted like s***. I wasn't pissed because she left me nothing. But if she didn't like them, why did she have to eat everything? When I asked her this she told me that she was hungry. OK fine. She does this every time. Eats everything I make and calls it s***. I don't argue with her because I work for more than 80 hours a week and I really want to have some peace when I'm home.

So, yesterday, a random girl starts at flirting with me after the gym and asked me if I wanted to meet up with her for some drinks. I rejected her and told her that I was married. And when I got home, my wife started to hug me and apologise. When I asked her what happened, she told me that her best friend suggested a test for my loyalty. So they asked a mutual friend to flirt with me and asked me out. And I passed. Yay!!. I'm really p*****. I'm done with her antics. WIBTA if I ask her to move out?

Edit: I don't live in the USA. Please don't discuss legalities based on the laws there.

Needless to say, different people had totally different takes on the situation, with some agreeing that the man in question has the right to ask his pregnant wife to move out, and others suggesting it's totally out of order.

One user said that their wife had made hurtful comments while she was pregnant.

My wife has only ever said insane, nasty and hurtful things twice in our whole marriage and both times were during early pregnancy hormones surges.

At the time, I was freaking out thinking "Omg she's thinking of separating right after getting pregnant!" but now I look back and think it was an expression of her nerves and also the hormones f***ing with her.

None of this excuses bad behaviour of course, but it's worth considering if someone isn't being themselves.

Another Redditor, however, said that the 'hormones' involved in pregnancy are no excuse for bad behaviour.

I really don't get it when people give women a pass for being pregnant/PMSing/whatever. Hormones are a bitch but at the end of the day, you and you alone dictate your behaviour.

Not to mention how patronizing it is, with the implication that women are too feeble-minded, over-emotional or hormone-addled to act like sane human beings. How nice. /s

One woman said that perhaps the pregnant woman needed to see a doctor.

I've been pregnant twice. Hormones made me cry a lot, get angry faster, and crave weird things. But they shouldn't make you emotionally abusive like this.

If she is really having such severe mood swings and abusing him this way then she needs to see a doctor asap. It's either her just using pregnancy as an excuse or a legitimate case of severe prenatal anxiety.

Many Redditors, however, thought that it was unreasonable to suggest that the wife be kicked out and that instead she obviously needs help and support.

Absolutely. This should be treated first and foremost like a medical issue.

People saying hormones aren't a free pass..

They certainly don't excuse this sort of behaviour but there are so many studies about how hormones affect mental health significantly, exacerbating even underlying conditions like bipolar disorder.

My first step would absolutely not be to kick her out, she needs help. Reddit is so quick to say break up, and there is definitely a good proportion who love to have a circle jerk around a woman in the wrong, but this is your wife. It's a s***** thing she did but she is clearly suffering right now. At least talk to her.

Thank God that there are some good people in the world!

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