Here’s what we want QAnon to say next

QAnon is known for its straight-up outlandish and bizarre conspiracy theories.

The cult seems to believe just about everything. From thinking that JFK Jr. is actually alive and his father has been in disguise all these years as Keith Richards, to having dangerous theories on how to cure themselves of Covid-19. We’ve seen and heard it all at this point.

While last year was a banner year for their madness, there is one important thing we couldn’t help but notice occurred. Q himself (or herself) has gone silent for more than a year.

Shortly after Joe Biden was elected president in December, the anonymous online account shared its last post; a link to a video with scenes of cars burning on the streets, fighter jets over a stadium and Donald J. Trump with his hand on a Bible, being sworn in as president. The images played over a song by Twisted Sister, “We’re Not Gonna Take It.”

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In Q's absence, his followers have drummed up nonsense in his place. It’s strange to think he has been away for so long, especially with everything that happened in 2021. In honor of his absence, we’ve drummed up a few ideas on what we’d like for him to say next.

“Dude, I'm not Ticketmaster”

With all the bizarre artists QAnon has claimed are about to be resurrected from the dead, it would only be fitting for him to come out and call out the absurdity of it all.

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"Could you please ask Marjorie Taylor Greene to stop mentioning me, she's ruining my credibility."

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When you have Marjorie Taylor Greene on your side, that should be a signal that you’re on the wrong side.

"Why are you all so obsessed with JFK Jr?"

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I mean, seriously who started this theory and then just ran with it?

"I’m in love with Kamala Harris."

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For all the lies he spews about everything, what if he fell for Madame Vice President and has had to keep his mouth shut because then it would mean talking negatively about his one true love? Hey, it could happen.

"I have Covid, I'm quarantining for 5 days."

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Last year, one QAnon supporter shared an elixir that she claimed would help combat Covid-19 (you can’t make this stuff up). What would happen if Q himself fell victim to the wide-spreading virus?

"See you at Coachella."

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Since singers seem to be his thing, the upcoming festival of Coachella would be the holy grail to spot them all in one place—who knows who comes back from the dead?

"I’m a Democrat now."

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Wouldn’t it be great if he became a reborn Democrat because of all the chaos Republicans have created in the last year? It’s enough to turn even Q, himself.

"Guys, it was all a joke. You literally built a religion around some sh*tposts."

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If only...

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