Nadine Dorries’ message to anxious A-Level students is exactly what you’d expect

Ahead of this year’s A-Level results day on Thursday, disaster-prone Tory MP and former culture secretary Nadine Dorries has offered up a bizarre anecdote in her latest Daily Mail column in an attempt to reassure those waiting to find out their grades.

The Mid Bedfordshire MP, who’s facing mounting calls to resign like she said she would back in June and hasn’t spoken in parliament since July last year, shared her wisdom on Monday night in a piece titled: “Worried about A-level grades? My daughter’s results were so catastrophic I crashed the car.”

As if the car crash itself wasn’t bad enough, it seems Ms Dorries’ daughter was thrown under the bus as well…

The ex-cabinet minister and I'm A Celebrity contestant writes: “When the results for my youngest came through, my eldest daughter and I drove her to school.

“Upon being told we were not allowed to go in with her, we sat patiently in the car park and waited for what felt like for ever [sic] until she finally emerged, clutching her results envelope.

“She slipped silently on to [sic] the back seat of the car, slammed the door and said: ‘Just drive.’

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“As I turned into the gate [of the house], my eldest daughter said: ‘We’re home now, so…?’

“And my youngest then told us her grades – which were so unexpectedly, catastrophically bad that I mounted the flower bed, carried on through the roses and crashed into a yew hedge.”

Well then…

Apparently, the reason for telling this tale was down to what the Talk TV host’s eldest daughter not long after they learned of the youngest’s results, which was to go to the Ucas clearing website and secure a place for her sister on a law course.

She continues: “Given how tough it is expected to be this year, my advice for parents and students is this: if the results aren't what you expect but you're still absolutely determined to go to university, get into clearing as fast as you can.

“Do consider other learning and employment opportunities, and take heart from the fact that many successful people flunked exams or didn't go to university but went on to have stellar careers.

“The rest of your life isn't dictated by one event at 17 or 18, as Jeremy Clarkson reminds us every year when he cites his own poor A-level grades - usually from a yacht in the South of France, or as his chef serves him truffles for breakfast.”

And despite her unexpected A-Level results, the daughter in question – understood to be Jennifer Dorries – ended up on the public payroll as a staffer in her mum’s parliamentary office, as social media users were all too quick to point out:

Awkward.

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