The Conversation (0)
Liam O'Dell
May 21, 2022
Elon Musk says Twitter deal 'cannot move forward' until it proves bot numbers
IndependentTV
Given SpaceX and Tesla founder Elon Musk is still working on plans to take over Twitter, it might be worth applying for a job with him/
On Friday, a new vacancy was announced at Tesla when the tech billionaire tweeted that his car company would be setting up a “hardcore litigation department” to “directly initiate and execute lawsuits” – with the team reporting directly to him, of course.
“My commitment: we will never seek victory in a just case against us, even if we will probably win [and] we will never surrender/settle an unjust case against us, even if we will probably lose,” he wrote.
He went on to add he was “looking for hardcore streetfighters, not white-shoe lawyers”, and that “there will be blood”.
We can only hope Musk isn’t being literal here, as we’re pretty sure most lawyers don’t like bloody fighting.
Y’know, assault being illegal and everything…
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Nevertheless, with Musk after three to five bullet points showing “evidence of exceptional ability”, Twitter users decided to have some fun as to what that actually means:
1. In July 2017, I drank 69 beers in one day \n\n2. I have encyclopedic knowledge of Arizona dive bars\n\n3. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from a Tier 1 law school \n\nThese are ranked in order of importance.— Clue Heywood (@Clue Heywood) 1653082241
I do not no how to do bullet points but I ran for DA of San Bernardino County, I acquitted myself of mass murder and run a successful family oriented media network. My son is named Matt— Tim Heidecker (@Tim Heidecker) 1653089842
because if I wanted to assemble a team of the finest legal minds in the world, the first place I would go would be twitter, absolutely— Jeff Tiedrich (@Jeff Tiedrich) 1653097536
elon i have a great deal of experience stealing coffee from harvard law, and my hourly rate \u2014 well, it\u2019s very low. please email me, thank you.— hannah gais (@hannah gais) 1653100110
\u2022 I went to business school\n\u2022 I like green beans\n\u2022 I am 6\u20194\u201d\n\u2022 I can read and write in English and Spanish\n\u2022 I am getting a little bald which is proof of my wisdom \n\nYou have 2 hours.— Quinn Nelson (@Quinn Nelson) 1653079159
- really chilled out beekeeper here.\n- I have excellent snow globe control.\n- taller than Evander Holyfield.\n- can shit to a beat.\n\nNo emails please.— chris o'dowd (@chris o'dowd) 1653083468
- taller than most salmon\n- can spell \u201chammer\u201d\n- once trained a fork to act a lot more like a spoon in some circumstances \n- excels a sitting down, seriously you should see my form\n- almost never shouts at cows\n\nAnxiously awaiting your response.— Michael Marshall Smith (@Michael Marshall Smith) 1653093661
It’s not clear how long applications are open for, but if you genuinely want to apply – or, most likely, troll – then the email is justice@tesla.com.
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