This 'choose your own adventure' story about working as Beyoncé’s assistant is a triumph of humanity

Lowenna Waters
Sunday 30 June 2019 11:00
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Picture:(Getty / Twitter)

If you're a mega Beyoncé fan then you've come to the right place, because this article will fulfil all of your wildest dreams. Come on in! Don't be shy!

A Beyoncé super fan has created a Twitter thread called 'Beyonce's assistant for the day: DON'T GET FIRED'. The game was created by Twitter user @Cornyassbitch, who proudly proclaims on her Twitter biography that “Beyoncé spat on my hand as a fan on 5.14.16.” Yep, she's that much of a super fan.

How do you play this game, we hear you cry? Well, in the game, Twitter users pretend to be Beyoncé's assistant, and they're tasked with trying to get Queen Bey suited and booted and to an awards ceremony later on in the evening. Throughout the game, acting as her assistant, you have to complete a number of different tasks, as well as finding the best solutions.

However, sadly enough, if you choose the wrong option, you're toast.

In order to give you a flavour of the tasks, we've selected a few of the best examples. And in true Ru Paul style... Good luck, and don't f*** it up!

Here goes!

First up... Breakfast.

There are two options... which do you choose?

Yoghurt, granola and strawberries... Congratulations, you've made it through!

The five-star breakfast? Sorry, mate, you're fired.

OK! So, we're going to choose another challenge at random, to let you see what happens.

This time, we're going to choose...

You've got to FaceTime your daughter. But which one do you choose? Blue or Rumi?

Rumi? Sorry, mate, you're fired.

Blue Ivy? Congratulation, assistant, you exist to live another day.

And, let's take a look at a third challenge, too.

Beyoncé now needs something to do to keep her occupied while she waits for her hair and makeup. What do you suggest? Swimming, painting, or drinking and gossiping?

Oh, great, you chose swimming. She goes swimming and is... happy!

Painting? Oh yes, you get through to the next round, too, assistant. Well done.

Drinking? With a peasant? Not a chance in hell, mate. You're fired!

We think you probably catch the drift of the game now, yes?

If you've ever watched the last episode of Black Mirror, you know, the interactive one, then you'll understand how the game unfolds.

Think you've got what it takes to be Bey's assistant? Well, we hope you are as good as you think you are. You'd better SLAY.

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HT Daily Dot

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