We’ve all got our secret weapons to help us win an argument with our someone – it could be tears, bribery or an outright apology.
But there’s one four-letter word that could end things much quicker – and it probably isn’t one you’ve tried using before.
Hal Runkel, a family therapist, said in a Business Insider video that the word we should be using more in our relationships is “ouch”.
When we’re in conflict, inevitably we will say something that hurts the other person, using the inside information that you have on them or that they have on you. They’ve used something precious that nobody else knows and it's a tender spot and they use that on you, and you are so hurt and everything in you wants to scream something right back at them.
Runkel says if you say that what they said hurts, instead, and will steer the argument in a different direction. He said:
Now that whole conversation, which was a very familiar path, that fight, is now a totally different path because one of you chose to actually get vulnerable, and say, ‘Ouch. That one hurt.’
But he says it should be done in a “whiny” manner, instead one of “standing up tall and owning it”.
It just comes out when we’re in the heat of conflict and we forget ourselves and we forget who we really are. Calm down. Grow up. Get closer.