Andy Gregory
Jul 24, 2019
It’s official: Boris Johnson is prime minister of the UK.
After increasingly bizarre performances spent either detailing how he paints smiling little people onto model buses, waving around oily fish in mistaken protest at EU laws or just interrupting opponents with unintelligible words, you’d be forgiven for thinking there wasn’t much Mr Johnson could say in his victory speech that still would have the power to surprise.
That was before you heard him say ‘dude’.
At least, presumably that’s what he’s trying to say.
The frantic syllable burst out his mouth more like a prolonged grunt, as if upon being crowned PM his own body was trying to exorcise itself of all the terrible things he’s done and said to get there,
One can only imagine that as his inner demons burst forth from their blonde Pandora’s Box under the guise of Californian slang, they disappeared straight into the welcoming hosts of the gathered, laughing Tories, sealing once and for all the demonic pact ushered in by a margin of 45,497 votes.
For once, there was method to the madness.
Mr Johnson was pointing out that his campaign slogan (Deliver Brexit, Unite the Country and Defeat Corbyn) was an acronym for "DUD".
The new prime minister was trying to rectify this befitting arrangement of letters, by adding "Energise", seemingly not realising that voicing this final part of the slogan would prove akin to incanting "Bloody Mary" one too many times.
People on Twitter were horrified and ashamed in equal measure, as pop culture references abounded.
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