Following the news that one of America's biggest retailers has decided to do away with gendered labels on its children's toys and bedding, the good people of Fox News have been trying to get their heads around the concept.
"They're going gender neutral, whatever that means," a segment of Fox & Friends began on Monday. "Have the PC police gone too far?!"
That's right, Fox News wants its toys in a nice binary format. Blue is for boys and pink is for girls. Letting children choose for themselves is clearly deviance.
Target, the retailer in question, said it made the move after customer feedback. Its practices came under the spot spotlight in June when this image was shared thousands of times on Twitter:
To try to understand the decision, the team cut to Alcides Segui, their reporter on the ground outside a Target store in Florida. "Is this going to confuse you?" he asks in a tone of complete bafflement. "I know it's going to confuse me."
After Segui does his best to explain this revolutionary idea to his colleagues, action shoots back to the studio, where host Steve Doocy, who may or may not be hyperventilating by this point, takes over again.
To recap, it will be the toys and the bedding. It will not be the clothing, which... is good. I mean, how many times have you gone into a store... when I go to buy glasses and all of them are up there on the wall, I will ask the person 'are these men's or women's?'
Doocy there, explaining that he needs arbitrary labels on his spectacles because otherwise he wouldn't know which ones to like.
But after appearing to come to terms with the new ruling, Doocy explains to fellow host Brian Kilmeade: "I think what they're saying is that the boundaries are down. Boys and girls can like the same toys now."
"Great! Fantastic! There's going to be some unhappy boys and some unhappy girls now," Kilmeade concludes with no hint of sarcasm, irony or much sense of coherence.