All the ways getting the covid vaccine and going to a festival are exactly the same

Kate Plummer
Wednesday 09 June 2021 14:27
news
(Hollie Adams/Getty Images/OLI SCARFF/AFP via Getty Images)

Yesterday, those aged between 25 and 30 (the 25 and over X Factor group if you will) were able to book their coronavirus vaccines for the first time.

And book they did. Over 500,000 people signed up for a jab in the arm by midday as they worked to end the pandemic and get on with their lives.

It was crazy. Sir Simon Stevens, the chief executive of NHS England called it a “Glastonbury-style rush” and he is not wrong.

After all, there are more than a few parallels between the coronavirus vaccine and going to a festival. Here are nine:

1. The queues

When eager people logged onto their computers yesterday to book their vaccines, many were faced with a laggy queue. It took ages to make it onto the website. Absolutely ages. Just like when you try and book tickets to a festival, then.

2. Asking your friends if they got theirs

“OMG I got mine for tomorrow”. “UGH I have to wait until July”. These messages and many others that people in their mid to late twenties received yesterday about the vaccine are the same as “I got an early bird ticket” and “I am going to try and get one on resale”. Exactly the same.

3. Photo ops

When celebrities get their vaccine, they can’t resist showing it off on social media. Who can forget Prince William’s biceps, for instance? And quite obviously, lots of celebrities take photos at Glastonbury and the other festivals they attend or perform at.

Similarly, people shower social media with photos of their vaccine cards when they get one, or show off their stickers. These are the same people who post grainy footage of their favourite bands at 4 am from a muddy field.

4. Taking the day off work the next day

Vaccines can cause side effects such as headaches, nausea, chills and more. Some people may feel the need to stay off work the next day to recover. Festivals can cause side effects such as headaches, nausea, chills and more. Some people may feel the need to stay off work for the next two days to recover.

5. Long journeys to get there

Vaccine centres are never down the road. They are always in annoying places like, for some dystopian reason, London’s shopping centre Westfield, or in church halls. Festivals also involve train journeys to the middle of nowhere and are a pain to get to. Both are worth it, though.

6. Medical staff at hand for emergencies

At vaccination sites, medical staff wait around in case someone has a severe reaction to it. Remember, this is rare. Far less rare are the numpties of Britain needing medical attention at a festival because they have seshed just a bit too hard.

7. Smug people

People who have got their vaccines are smug! People who go to festivals are smug! And that is just the truth.

8. Conspiracy theories

There are loads of conspiracy theories about the coronavirus vaccine. Some falsely claim it will make you magnetic, and others say those who get one are being microchipped by the government for some bizarre reason.

Conspiracy theories about festivals are far less bonkers, but some people do believe in weird hacks to skip online queues, which are probably false.

The evidence is insurmountable, then. Vaccines and festivals? The same, actually. We can’t wait to have both.

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