Jeremy Corbyn sent out his first holiday greetings card as Labour leader this week.
The card is a simple photo of a bicycle outside Queensway tube station, taken when London was snowed under in 2009. Splashes of festive red are added by a traditional phone box and a traffic light in the background, and the message 'Merry Christmas'.
But it's a trap!
The card is actually full of subliminal messaging from 'Comrade' Corbyn and his merry band of Maoists, or so says the Daily Mail:
The Mail's "mischievously witty" analysis of the card shows it is full of hidden meanings, from "Maoist bicycles to a chilling reminder of the Winter of Discontent."
According to the Mail, there's no religious imagery or Father Christmas to be seen because the only bearded person Corbyn idolises is Karl Marx (Queensway will be renamed if republican Corbyn ever reaches office).
The red phone box harks back to the golden age of publicly owned telecommunications, and the red traffic light symbolises Corbyn and Ken Livingstone's 'war on motorists'. Coincidentally:
The first traffic light was introduced to Britain in 1926, a key date in the Corbynite history of struggle, as it marks this country's only General Strike.
According to the paper, the snow represents:
the Winter of Discontent of 1978-79
the chilling effects of Tory austerity policy
the fact that climate change means White Chistmasses are a thing of the past
Don't forget that it does snow a lot in Russia, where Corbyn's "friends" live.
The 'forlorn' bike, is, obviously:
a unisex model
a green mode of transport favoured by Corbyn himself
a throwback to Mao and visions of Chinese-style egalitarian society
a jibe at "capitalist oppressor" and former Tory MP Norman Tebbit, who in 1981 told the unemployed to 'get on yer bike' rather than riot
Even the border is dripping in socialist symbolism:
The bright-red border around the photo is emblematic of Corbyn's desire to capture all of Britain in his socialist net. Never mind that he disregards the country's actual borders because of his ideological enthusiasm for unfettered immigration and multiculturalism.
Last but not least, our favourite: 'Merry Christmas' appears in lower case because it's an 'anti-capitalist' statement. And how dare Corbyn use the word 'Merry'?
...There is something unnatural about the use of the term 'merry' by Corbyn, a humourless ideologue and vegetarian who declares that he drinks 'very, very little'.
Still, though. Corbyn's card is a lot better than this monstrosity from last year.