The Daily Mail just published a bizarre imagining of life in Maoist Britain under 'Chairman Corbyn'

Bethan McKernan@mck_beth
Saturday 28 November 2015 13:30
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We don't know about you, dear readers, but we thoroughly enjoyed the Mail on Sunday's apocalyptic imagining of life under a Corbyn premiership, published before the Labour party leader elections this summer.

(We enjoyed it even more when Corbyn won, making the 2,500 word dystopian vision that little bit more likely.)

Now the Daily Mail has followed up with what it calls "A historian's brilliantly witty (and chilling) vision of our future", "Chairman Corbyn's Maoist Britain", by historian Dominic Sandbrook:

The piece is inspired by shadow chancellor John McDonnell literally threw Chairman Mao's Little Red Book across the dispatch box at George Osborne during the Autumn Statement this week.

And it is, quite frankly, astonishing.

It turns out the moment when Comrade McDonnell brandished the Little Red Book was the catalyst for a socialist revolution in Britain, a place where people are forced to work on collective farms and in mines, and all universities are 'safe spaces'.

In Trafalgar Square, where tourists gather in the shadow of Corbyn’s Column, you can often see the foreign visitors gazing in awe at the giant posters of Marx, Mao, Len McCluskey and Diane Abbott.

Like Taiwan, the overthrown bourgeois class,including David Cameron and the royals, fled to the Isle of Wight in the early days of the revolution.

They were later joined by former Labour politicians Liz Kendall, Tristram Hunt, Stella Creasy and Alan Johnson, who were purged for not being committed enough to the Chairman's vision.

Jeremy Clarkson and Ian Hislop are banished to the Isle of Man re-education camps. The British Museum stands empty apart from McDonnell's copy of the Little Red Book, and Buckingham Palace is now the residence of Chairman Corbyn, who, like Mao, indulges in drugs, excess and sexual depravity.

Scouring the bins, dissidents have found numerous bottles of sleeping pills and other drugs, as well as super-sized packets of cheap Chinese cigarettes. Doctors have been spotted coming and going regularly. There have been disturbing reports of cars pulling into the Palace late at night, with Red Guards dragging terrified teenage girls inside.

The piece finishes with a warning about the left's 'new politics':

If this sounds implausible, then just reflect that it is no more implausible than, say, Jeremy Corbyn becoming Leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition, or his Shadow Chancellor reading from Mao’s Little Red Book in the House of Commons.

But we live in strange times. Yes, Mr Corbyn once promised us a new politics. But few of us ever expected to see Chairman Mao rising from the dead.

We can't help but feel that someone coming back from the dead is more implausible than what happened in the House of Commons this week.

But then, the Daily Mail really did publish this, so it's true: we do live in strange times.

More: Remembering the Mail on Sunday's dystopian prediction for life under Corbyn

More: You can now download and print off your own Corbyn 'patriot-o-meter'

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