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A woman has complained that her husband's "big penis" is wreaking havoc on their sex life.

Writing to US-based psychotherapist Pamela Stephenson Connolly's advice column in the Guardian, the unnamed woman said the size of his penis was causing her vulva to tear "every time we have sex".

She said: "My husband has a big penis and every time we have sex my vulva tears. We use silicone lubricant (water-based dried up too quickly) and avoid certain positions, to no avail."

She added that the problem "has reduced our sex life greatly, as it makes me nervous to initiate anything."

"My husband is very understanding and gentle, and we do oral or manual stimulation, but I miss the intimacy of penetrative sex," she added.

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"We have been together almost 10 years and the tearing is getting worse."

Responding to her problem, Connolly suggested the couple "stop allowing penetration" until the problem is fixed.

"The tearing and pain will probably get even worse," she warned.

"There are a number of options to make your sex life comfortable and pleasurable again," she added.

"First, do not allow the prospect of discussing your husband’s big penis stop you from getting help. You are not alone; many couples have such a problem and fail to receive help for the same reason.

"You may need treatment for vaginismus or a course of self-dilation – a good sex therapist can help you with this.

"Most importantly, you must never again allow penetration until you are fully ready and desirous – and confident it can be comfortable."

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