There’s no such thing as an easy wedding, but there’s one sure-fire way to make it worse: If the maid of honour isn’t there to hold the entire celebration up.
That was the situation for one wedding at least. One down-on-her-luck maid of honour took to the subreddit called 'Am I The A**hole' (AITA) to ask people if backing out of her bestie’s wedding made her a bad person.
Taking to the reddit thread, she asked:
AITA if I back out of being maid of honour at my best friend’s wedding next weekend? Best man is my ex fiancé who cheated on me and I can’t be around him let alone walk arm in arm with him.
The reddit user, called u/Liotheleon went on to share details of her painful breakup, and what had precipitated it.
Loved him with every fiber [sic] of my being, wedding planned for August. Refused a job offer so could move with him for his next Air Force assignment. Monday a call girl from a website called massage republic texts him in the middle of the night saying she's reaching out to old clients because she's back in the game (his phone was at my house while he was flying) I text back she must have wrong number. She says she doesn't.
In a moment of brains I pretend to be him instead of the jealous girlfriend and call girl gives me all the details. I'm such a fool this had been happening under my nose for years.
I confront him, he claims to be a sex addict and promises to change. I consider it for half a second and say no. Cue uncontrollable crying, self doubt, a battery of STD tests, awkward encounters with him, fight over the ring, his mom (who I loved) calling me non-stop and begging me to reconsider and on and on.
She went on to say that the groom didn’t want to “rock the boat” by getting a new best man, and the bride is “begging” the redditer to “just go through with it and she’ll ‘make it up to me’”.
So, should she skip her best friend's wedding?
No, she has an obligation.
If she's known he was the best man for six months and wouldn't do it and waits until the weekend before to cause a stink she'd definitely be the a**hole.
If it makes it bearable just walk the aisle with a different groomsman.
Yes, skip the wedding: The friend should understand the circumstances.
It’s like cutting open a semi healed wound. She is NTA. I’d bow out too. I’m sure one of the other brides maids would be willing to step in.
DONT GO ITS GONNA TURN INTO A DRAMATIC OPERA!!!
Save yourself, your self respect and your dignity!! If your bff has a problem with you skipping, she’s not really your friend... This is ABSOLUTE grounds for distance!!! You most likely won’t make it through. He will use this to his advantage (counting on you saving the drama NOT for the wedding) and others will get on the band wagon. Suddenly his cheating is a disease, poor him, take pity... They don’t care about you either if they dare utter these words btw
What did the maid of honour do?
In an update a few days later, she told redditers that she intends to support her friend during her wedding.
I'm going to suck it up, participate, have fun, make my lock screen image the text from "Panama" where she said "remember, you liked tounging [sic] my a**hole?" so when I get sad I have an instant reminder of who he really is. And then when it's all over I'm going to scream myself hoarse and beat the ever living f**k out of my pillows. If I can update a week from now I will. I still have a lot of reading to do so thank you all for commenting.