A woman’s Facebook post about working mothers and societal pressures has gone viral for all the right reasons, as it succinctly articulated all the challenges women still have to contend with, despite the advancement in their rights.
Sarah Buckley Friedberg outlined the different ways mothers are expected to behave in society, and the difficulties that comes with maintaining a career and becoming a parent.
Friedberg, who is based in America, talks about mothers being unable to bond properly with their babies (America doesn’t have maternity leave in the same way the UK has, and mothers often have to return to work just weeks after they gave birth); about being expected to breast feed for “at least a year”, maintain a schedule for her entire family and taking children to doctor's appointments.
And, to break that glass ceiling.
Here are the different pressures Friedberg believes mothers have to contend with:
1. Going back to work before having the chance to bond with the baby.
The baby that you spent 9-10 months growing inside of your body. Go back to work before you have finished healing or have had time to bond with your baby.
Keep your mind on work, and not your tiny helpless baby that is being watched and cared for by someone other than you. Make sure to break the glass ceiling and excel at your job- you can do anything a man can do! It is your job to show society this! Show the world that women can do it all. Rise to the top of your career.
2. Being expected to breastfeed for at least a year.
So take 2-3 pumping breaks a day at work, but don't let it throw you off your game or let you lose your focus.
3. Quickly get back in shape.
Also, lose that baby weight and get back in shape, as quickly and as gracefully as possible.
Make sure to get 8 hours of sleep a night so you can work out, work, and care for your family. But also get up at 5 am to workout, unless you want to do it after your kids go to bed when you also need to clean the house and get life ready for the next day and you know, sleep.
4. General maintenance of children, pets, the house…
Maintain the schedule for the entire family.
Remember the dog you got before you had kids? She’s getting old now and needs expensive surgery.
Hey! Kids need lots of doctor appointments. Monthly as babies. Every time they are sick. Specialist appointments, especially if any of them have extra needs.
…meal planning, grocery shopping, and meal prep on the weekend. But also hang out with your kids on the weekend since during the week you only get to hang out with them when they are exhausted and angry that you made the wrong kind of spaghetti for dinner.
5. Work on the relationship with your spouse/SO… and also afford childcare to do that.
Date your spouse! It's important to keep your relationship alive and fresh.
6. Oh, and engage in self-care.
Get off your phone, turn off the TV, and enjoy your life. Enjoy your kids. THESE ARE THE GOOD TIMES make sure to love every minute of life because before you know it all of this will be in the past.
These don't apply too all households, but for Friedberg, it provides a list of conflicting expectations often piled onto women - even in 2019.
You can read the entire Ted-style talk below:
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