Today, PMQs returned after parliament took a brief recess for Easter.
In this latest edition of Punch and Judy, Boris Johnson faced questions about the Greensill lobbying scandal and the two politicians shared jokes about Line of Duty – a show we are sure they have both never seen.
But who emerged victor in this battle of barbs?
We’ve done the maths:
“Every day there is further evidence of the sleaze that is now at the heart of this Conservative government.” – Starmer, 9/10
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What a zinger. Following the Greensill scandal, in which former PM David Cameron is accused of pulling strings to lobby for a finance firm, Starmer asked Johnson if the current lobbying rules in place are fit for purpose.
Johnson replied he had asked for an independent review of the arrangements to be delivered in June but said top civil servants should be able to engage in business and the private sector.
But Starmer was having none of it and accused the party of being sleazy:
.@Keir_Starmer going in hard on Tory "sleaze". Altho Labour has pushed "cronyism" for months, this feels like a not… https://t.co/hNX1Dg2xxs— Paul Waugh (@Paul Waugh) 1618398382
“The Greensill scandal is the tip of the iceberg,” he added.
“There’s one party, Mr Speaker, that’s actually voted to repeal the 2014 Lobbying Act and that was the Labour Party. I think that’s absurd.” Johnson – 6/10
Strong rhetoric from BoJo and a fair point. Labour did pledge to repeal the act – claiming it stopped charities from being able to campaign. Starmer fought back and said the legislation hadn’t stopped the scandal from occurring which is also true... so Johnson just creeps past the midpoint.
“Perhaps in the interest in full transparency, Lord Mandelson can be encouraged to disclose his other clients, Mr Speaker.” Johnson – 7/10
Johnson was backed into a corner, he had nowhere to run, and then he pulled out this plot twist and accused Starmer of being lobbied by mysterious figures linked to Lord Mandelson. It got everything thinking until…
“I haven’t heard a defence that ridiculous since my last days in the Crown Court… it’s called the shoplifters’ defence – everyone else is nicking stuff so why can’t I. That line just isn’t going to wash with me.” Starmer – 8/10
Sassy Starmer returned with a rebuttal that was also educational. And we can’t really ask for anything more than that.
Keir Starmer accuses Boris Johnson of the “shoplifter’s defence” - “everyone else is nicking stuff so why can’t I?”… https://t.co/C6bO7WB3fZ— Jane Merrick (@Jane Merrick) 1618398636
Keir Starmer - "I haven't heard a defence that ridiculous since my last days in the Crown Court... it's called the… https://t.co/bVn5FFS3oX— Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺) 1618399082
“While he was prosecuting MPs I was cutting crime in London.” Johnson – 3/10
Boris Johnson accidentally turned himself into a meme by saying this. If it was on purpose, and done in the correct format, he would have scored more points. But – as he didn’t, he is marked down.
While you were partying, I studied the UV sanitizing gun https://t.co/rMQFw1SnVK— Fisher🎄 (@Fisher🎄) 1617821483
@pocketghosts while you were busy partying, they were studying the blade— loz 🍔🐇 (@loz 🍔🐇) 1617939903
while you were out partying, i was pronouncing it choritho— aarjan (@aarjan) 1618325465
“It really wasn’t a good point, if you think that’s a good point you’ve got real problems!” Starmer – 7/10
After an MP shouted “good point” to a Johnson quip, Starmer shut him down. Nicely done.
A Tory MP calls out "good point!" after Boris Johnson's answer at #PMQs Keir Starmer: "It really wasn't a good poi… https://t.co/jiJqJNkC5D— Jon Stone (@Jon Stone) 1618398748
“The more I listen to the Prime Minister, the more I think that Ted Hastings and AC12 are needed to get to the bottom of this one.” – Starmer – 4/10
Ooof this joke landed... flat. #PMQs https://t.co/bDuNgNDbXs— Tom Harwood (@Tom Harwood) 1618398892
This was a bit embarrassing, Keir. We’ve all tried to join in on banter that we don’t really understand but – as it did here – it usually falls flat. MPs in the chamber remained silent, but he did make this Twitter user laugh, so he gets points for trying:
His interjection also triggered Johnson to get involved and proclaim:
“We are getting on with rooting bent coppers, Mr Speaker!” Johnson – 4/10
He then went on a rant about police and vaccines until the speaker had to interrupt him to make him focus.
A mixed bag for both of them, them.
Overall, it was a solid performance from Keir Starmer, according to viewers, and we agree:
That might have been Keir Starmer's best #PMQs so far. Sleaze is, obviously, a good subject for Labour, but he seem… https://t.co/yRVDh0DJUq— Peter Walker (@Peter Walker) 1618399000
Starmer doing well today. More relaxed. And hitting home at the “dodgy contracts, privileged access and Tory sleaz… https://t.co/2GKWveJUIv— Mike Gapes (@Mike Gapes) 1618398988
He is this week’s winner and we look forward to seeing what he has up his sleeve next week.