eBay shopper mortified after drunken X-rated purchase is delivered to new neighbour

Anyone who drinks alcohol will be familiar with that nagging feeling of regret the morning after.

Maybe you’ve sent a text to an ex, overdone it at the kebab shop or hacked off your housemates by stumbling in too loudy.

Still, most of us manage to avoid the perils of online shopping while under the influence, and most of us don’t wake up with X-rated deliveries on the way.

However, one person was left utterly “mortified” after a night on the sauce led to an unusual eBay purchase and an awkward encounter with their neighbour.

The anonymous shopper, from Whitwick, Coalville, explained to a local Facebook group that they had “got hammered” during the Euro 2020 final and decided – in their inebriated state – that it would be “an excellent idea to buy a full life size sex doll off eBay after England lost.” (As you do.)

By the following morning they’d forgotten all about it, until they received emails saying it had been dispatched, and by that time they couldn’t cancel.

“It arrived in the post earlier than expected today and needless to say I am mortified,” they wrote in their Facebook post on July 27.

The reason for their heightened embarrassment was that they were at work at the time. This meant “my neighbour, who has just moved in, agreed to sign for it while I was out to add to my horror,” they added.

“I dread to know what she is thinking. I opened it up and oh my god it’s hideous.”

Alongside their message they shared a photo of the package, proving that it wouldn’t have taken much imagination for the neighbour to work out what it was.

The shopper showed what the doll looked like before and after she was unwrappedSpotted Whitwick/Facebook

Continuing their story the tortured shopper continued: “I don’t know what to do with it. I’m so embarrassed. What do I do with it? I can’t sell on Facebook Marketplace as that would involve getting it out the house, neighbours seeing.

But, they went on: “Returning it under eBay’s return policy would involve going to the post office aka social suicide. Going to the tip would be double social suicide, not to mention if police pull me over thinking I’m disposing a real body.”

They ended their post with a plea to the ‘Spotted Whitwick’ group, asking: “Does anyone know if Coalville tip has much CCTV around? Perhaps I could break in at night? Does anyone have any other suggestions or a big enough box to hide this heinous obscenity?”

They shared their story (and cry for help) with a local Facebook groupSpotted Whitwick/Facebook

The message and accompanying snaps were met with more than 540 likes and 460 comments – a massive amount when looking at the Facebook account’s usual activity.

However, rather than offer helpful disposal suggestions, most users delighted in the unfortunate mishap.

A number tagged their mates, nominating them to take the doll off the tortured poster’s hands, while others admitted that the story had cheered them up after a rough day.

While another joked: “How much do you want for her? Asking for a friend.”

And a third commented: “The moral of the story is be very careful what you buy when hammered! If this is a real post then my sympathies are with you.”

They then added: “Must say though, she (the doll) does look like someone I used to work with.”

It’s not clear whether the shopper eventually managed to get rid of their unwanted item, but at least they managed to get their local community smiling after the Euros.