Although she assumed her long-term girlfriend would be invited, she was confused when the invitation arrived and she wasn’t given a plus one.
When she asked her sister why this was the case, she said the groomsman would be her date and said as he’s single “it made sense to ‘pair [them] up’”.
She said her not receiving a plus one is not down to cost. Their parents are shelling out at least $75,000 for the wedding, and the beachfront venue alone costs $20,000.
Everyone else at the wedding - the maid of honour, the best man, the bridesmaids, and the groomsmen - were all given a plus one, as was every other guest.
She said the decision not to invite her girlfriend seems as though it came out of the blue, as a few months ago the bride complimented a dress the girlfriend had bought for the wedding, saying she can’t wait to see her wearing it.
But when the girlfriend was cut from the guest list, the bride didn’t tell her, and she instead found out when she received the invitation.
The Redditor has been out for 15 years, and her family has previously been supportive, attending pride parades and welcoming her girlfriend at family events and holidays.
She wrote: “Everyone knows I'm gay and it's never been a problem but now I feel like it is.
“My sister complained to my parents about my request and they sat me down and said while they are fronting the money they aren't involved in the planning and my sister can do as she pleases and I was reminded it is her day and not mine and demanding changes to the guest list is self-centered.
“I'm honestly shocked this happened. Part of me just wants to say screw it and not go but I'm a bridesmaid and finding a replacement in under 6 weeks would be difficult and as angry as I am with my sister and parents I don't want to disrupt the wedding.
“The guilt is adding to my confusion. I feel like it's homophobia no matter what my sister and parents say to that.”
She ended the post by asking if it was wrong of her to ask her sister to add an extra guest to the list.
Commenters rushed to the Redditor’s defence and were firmly on her side.
The top comment, with over 24,000 upvotes, broke down each of the woman’s concerns. Regarding her fear that it would be difficult to find a replacement so close to the wedding date, they said they don’t need a replacement, and it doesn’t matter if there isn’t an equal number on both sides. They also said it is homophobia, and that she wasn’t asking for an “extra spot”, she was asking “for a place that you are entitled to.”
They added: “You are also asking for fair and ethical treatment. Your sister is being foul. You have no obligation to play along.”
“It is homophobic. There's no other reason,” another wrote. “Everyone else in the wedding has a plus one, and it's not limited to spouses? She's also forcing you to have some random groomsman as your date? I'd dip on the wedding. Sure it's her wedding, but that doesn't mean you're obligated to participate/go.”
Another person pointed out that the sister’s remark that it made sense to “pair up” the Redditor and the groomsman doesn’t make sense since the groomsman is single and the Redditor is not.
One commenter said there may be someone on her future brother-in-law’s guest list who is causing the issue. But added: “When your sister allows it, she’s participating and saying homophobia is okay-regardless of how many pride parades she goes to or how she treats you the rest of the year.
They continued: “Accepting and loving family members don’t push their people back into the closet - EVER.”
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