Mother called 'horrible mum' for bringing child to a cafe

A mother has told of how she has been accused of being a “horrible mother” for taking her toddler to a coffee shop.

The mom says she frequents a coffee shop with her daughter, who is almost one, but recently another cafe regular has started making snide comments towards the pair.

Posting to the Am I The A**hole subreddit, the mum asked for a “general opinion check” to see if she’s in the wrong.

Providing context, she said she is in her late 20s and works from home while her husband spends a lot of time at work.

She said being home alone with a baby can be tiring and lead to feelings of being cooped up, so now that pandemic restrictions are lifting she has decided to take the little one out more.

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They now go to a small coffee shop in a local mall frequently, and all the waitresses know the pair by name and greet them every time they come in.

The tot has recently started walking, but the mom said they go to the coffee shop when it’s quiet and they sit at the very edge of the seating area so they don’t bother anyone. She said they also “never stay longer than 30 minutes”.

If someone initiates a conversation she is happy to chat, but they strictly avoid anyone on a computer, book, or people who are studying or in a meeting.

She said if the tot gets cranky, they immediately leave.

It seems there hasn’t been any issues until recently, when an older woman would sit near the mom and daughter and “stare”.

The mom wrote: “She'll whisper under her breath some things about ‘not in our time’, and ‘floozies’. Last time when we were leaving I felt it appropriate to at least say ‘goodbye have a nice day’ to the lady as we were saying so to the waiters and a nice gentleman who'd made funny faces at my kiddo.

“She looked at me like a spat at her and started mumbling something about ‘horrible mother’ and ‘no decency’.

“I'm not a confrontational type so I just ignored it, but it's been bothering me.

“I've talked to my friends (most are childfree) and a few of them said I'm ‘out of line bothering people with my child’ and that ‘people go there to have some peace and quiet’. The ones who have kids are on my side, so hence why I'm asking here.”

She concluded the post by asking if she’s in the wrong for bringing her kid to a coffee shop.

The top comment, with 22,000 upvotes reads: “NTA [not the a**hole] kids need socialisation, and you need sanity.” Another Redditor responded by quipping: “And so do cranky old ladies it seems.”

Another person said that although they don’t want kids and dislike strangers speaking to them, they don’t understand where their childfree friends are coming from as it doesn’t sound as though the tot is bothering anyone. “In fact it sounds like your kid is brightening people’s days,” they added.

If the kid isn’t being noisy and the mom has control over the child, there is no problem, another said.

They added: “From what you’re describing, it sounds like you two have a fairly chill, well-behaved time in the coffee shop. If that’s accurate (and you’d leave if she’s loud or out of control), then you’re doing nothing wrong.”

Responding, the original poster said: “She's a very quiet kid, she babbles at a low talking volume probably because we have a very quiet household.

“I remember hating it when I'd go out for a coffee and somebody would let a child scream there, I never let that happen.”

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